ASCII Art

Number 5
February 9, 2002

Obsesso man is not satisfied with just sending text-based site updates. Oh no. He goes online to find an image editor
for ascii images and HE FINDS ONE. I also discovered that there is a community of dedicated geeks out there who make art
in this medium. That is, for those of you who don’t know, when sending e-mail with the various programs dedicated to that
function, one has the option to format as either “text” or “html”. With HTML, you have all the marvellous colors and pop up ads that we have come to know and love in our information age. With text, you have the bare bones characters which exist on your keyboard, no more, no less. Most mailing lists are limited to this format due to the miniscule size of the files in question. This one here, for instance.

If all things have worked out, you will see some handy dandy images which one can easily stick into the window of a chat program or cut copy paste and send to your friends. These images seem to read best with “courier” as the font and 10pt as the size.

If you LIKE this stuff, there are a couple of places to go.
http://neptune.spaceports.com/~machouse/
for examples of this art form, very heavy on manga since the japanese seem to dig it.

and there is dave barry’s humorous take on “emoticons”, the inane punctuation analogs which have arisen to fill in the blanks left by our standard set.
http://www.randomhouse.com/features/davebarry/emoticon.html

par example:

USEFUL INTERNET EMOTICONS
 EMOTICON MEANING
 :)  Happy person
 :(  Sad person
 :-)  Happy person with a nose
 :-(  Sad person with a nose
 :---(  Person who is sad because he or she has a large nose
 :(  Person who is sad because he or she has a large fish for a nose
 :-D  Person laughing
 :-D*  Person laughing so hard that he or she does not notice that a 5-legged spider is hanging from his or her lip
 :-|  Person unsure of which long-distance company to choose
 >8-O-(&)  Person just realizing that he or she has a tapeworm
 ;-)  Person winking
 -)  Person who can still smile despite losing an eyeball
 :-0WW  Person vomiting a series of Slim Jims
 :-Q  Person who just had cybersex and is now enjoying a post-coital cybercigarette
 >:-Q -...  Person who was enjoying a post-coital cigarette until he suddenly noticed, to his alarm, that there is some kind of discharge dribbling from his cybermember
 :-{8  Person who is unhappy with the results of her breast-enlargement surgery
 :V:-|  Person who cannot figure out why nobody wants to talk to him or her, little suspecting that there is an alligator on his or her head
 ~oE]:-|  Fisherperson heading for market with a basket on his or her head containing a three-legged octopus that is giving off smell rays
 >:-[ -{9  Person who is none too pleased to be giving birth to a squirrel

Here are some fine examples of emoticon art from the “macros” site.

Screenshot from original sitenews page.

I conclude by attempting to paste in an ascii image of my very own haid. Hope you can read this. If not, don’t blame me.
(it helps to get up and walk back a few paces from your computer. This helps anyway. Walk away….turn it off, blaine…turn it o f f f…….)

yours,
uncle guido

Author: Blaine L. Reininger

Blaine L. Reininger was born July 10, 1953 in Pueblo, Colorado. Then he lived a life. By and by, he founded Tuxedomoon with Steven Brown in 1977. He traipsed around America, tuxedomooning until 1980, when he began to traipse around Europe. As a direct result of all of this traipsing, many musical compositions were composed, most of which found their way to some sort of mechanical device capable of reproducing musical compositions. This was mostly for the good. He now lives in Athens, Greece, where he is content.

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